Top 10 reasons why Starbucks is better than sex

In true David Letterman style, I decided to create a top 10 list of reasons why Starbucks is better than sex:

10 - My cup of sbux doesn't judge my fat rolls and problem areas... I don't feel self-conscious or the need to only drink it in the dark

9 - It smells better

8 - My sbux will let me have as much or little personal/emotional connection as I decide 

7 - I'm always in the mood to use my mouth for it

6 - There's no risk of winding up with a love child if you don't drink it safely (ie thru a rubber straw) 

5 - I earn stars for each visit and when I get 12 stars, I get a free one (as big as I'd like!)

4 - When you get something sticky on you from it… you actually want to lick it off

3 - Double? Triple? Quadruple? In one experience?  These are things I can only get at sbux

2 - I don't even have to take my sweatpants off to drink it

1 - When I get sbux, I don't have to make my own coffee later to get my fix

Being a woman isn't all the tampon commercials crack it up to be

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Warning: Contains Almonds

I am working on another blog post but it is of a much more serious subject matter and the first blog I feel should set a precedence of what the blog is going to be like, so I will save that one for later…

So I decide to have a post-workout snack the other day… I pull out some apple slices and almond butter from the fridge and as I'm noshing on my snack (and wishing it was a doughnut) I start looking at the label on the almond butter (I often read labels of foods while I'm eating said food as a form of entertainment or "light reading", am I the only one who does this?).  So here is what the label looks like, Ingredients: Almonds, Salt… okay so DIRECTLY underneath the ingredient list is a warning label that looks something like this… WARNING: Contains Almonds.  WTF?  Do you really need to label the ALMOND butter to state that it contains almonds?!?  I can't help but think that if a person is allergic to almonds and grabs some almond butter to snack on not knowing it contains almonds… well, I'm thinking that person deserves to die of anaphylaxis because they are a fucking moron!  Sidenote- am I the only one who thinks of the scene in Tommy Boy on the airplane with the explanation of how to put the seatbelt on when I said that?  Okay, if you haven't seen Tommy Boy yet, you literally need to stop whatever you're doing right now and watch it… seriously.

This leads me to a whole train of thought in which I think that we really should just stop putting pointless warning labels on shit for stupid people and just let natural selection run its course… come on, don't act like you don't think about that sometimes too :)